[I don't know who to give credit to for this]

Dear Consumas:

   It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS
  98/BROOKLYN
   EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida Broooklyn.
   If ya got one a dese, you may need some help understandin' da commands.
   Da Brooklyn edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen.
   It reads:
   "WINDAS 98," wit a background picture of Grand Army Plaza.
   When you start da program, instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you
   hear da teme from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.
   Please also note:
   * Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island."
   * My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa."
   * The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk."
   * Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out."
   * Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar."
   * Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses."
   * Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family business" and will actually maximize da program instead of shuttin' it down.
   * Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour."
   * Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!" pops up.

   CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION:
   OK...................Sure ting
   Cancel...........Fugetaboutit
   Reset.............Start Ova
   Yes.................Yeah
   No...................Nah
   Find................Put a contract out on
   Browse..........Get a looksee
   Back...............U toin
   Help................(Help ain't available - yous don't need no stinkin' help)
   Stop.................Knock it off
   Start.................Move it!
   Settings..........Here's d' Rules
   Also note dat any voice recognition software run on da BROOKLYN EDITION platform don't             recognize da letter "R."
   Some programs and udder accessories dat are exclusive to WINDAS 98:
   Typa................A word processin' program
   Printa...............Printer
   Calculata..........Calculator
   Solitare.............Seven Card Stud

   We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of da BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
   Yous got a problem wit dat?